CoverGirl115

2009-09-07T20:48:00.000-07:00

A Box of Keepsakes

The only town that hardly changed ever since colonial times, named after James Lawrence, a naval hero of the War of 1812.
Lawrenceville, New Jersey was the best place for one to build childhood memories. The town where things would always stay the same.
I’m talking about Main Street. There was a post office and a bank located side by side. Anytime one would walk to drop off an envelope they were sure to smell the delectable aroma of Italian spices from Tj’s Pizza across the street. A pearl white, brown roof top open colonial house was next to it. Everyday there would be tourists, visitors, or students taking a field trip. Except Sunday. It was closed then. Ballet and piano lessons can be heard from a few stores down. Followed by the local florist, Jenna who carried an array of colored petals. A black fence enclosed the Lawrenceville red brick private school. It was more than 5 stories high where students practically lived in the school and wore navy blue and white vests and skirts with blue socks coming up to their knees. Girls were taught cooking, and boys were taught sports, along with academics.
56 Gordon Avenue. Kind of hard to forget it when your mother made you write it a 100 times just in case you got lost. A multi-colored brick house, a red door, a glass semicircle window with Mom’s homemade pink curtains, a white fenced porch, placed next to a standing apple tree. It was a three-bedroom light pink-carpeted house with flowered wallpapers in the bathroom and kitchen. Brown wood cupboards, ivory countertops, and the whiff of Mom’s Indian food. The other half of the kitchen was made into a study room for me. A beige and green diamond rug, a black desk and a pink blanketed daybed. There was also a patio door that lead to the backyard. Dad’s petite black barbecue grill, my yellow and red picnic table, and the growth of vines covering the brown wooden fence. If you went a little ahead, you would end up in the woods. I was always tempted to make it at least halfway so I can get a closer glimpse of the enormous red rusty brick house but my parents NEVER let me. There were surely people living there. I could see their TV reflections against the window when I peeked through the kitchen patio door on boring nights. Then there was that gray-cemented basement. It would always get flooded when a thunderstorm came along. I tried not going down there to avoid the mucky smell; instead I spent most of my time outside.
School mornings were crisp with a light breeze and some chirping of birds. But that’s about it. No sirens, or loud trucks, or car alarms. Dad and I rode in the red corolla station wagon and made a stop down the street at the local village red painted bakery. Next door was the barbershop where Dad got his haircut on Saturdays. I’d always make sure I would leave the house ten minutes early so I had enough time deciding what scrumptious treat to pick. There was always a new flavored whipped cupcake or frosted donut or a giant chocolate cookie. Some days I would stay in the car and let Dad choose for me while I stared at the little white-coated bakery waving man through the clear square windows. It always seemed like he was waving right at me. Then I had to make sure I ate the cupcake or donut or cookie pretty fast before we got to school. Pass the Weidel real estate office, make a right, pass the grocery store---it was not the usual grocery store. More of like a convenient quick stop. It came into use if you ran out of eggs or milk at eleven o clock at night. Up the hill. Finally. Still early enough to play on the monkey bars before the bell rang.
Lawrenceville Elementary School. Even the school seemed like it was around for long. There were random white secret doors in the hallways that no one knew where it lead to. The carpet was orangey and discolored but it never bothered any of us. Recitals were echoed as you passed the enormous gym and downstairs lead to the art and music room and the nurse’s office. Library days were filled with Charlie Brown movies and Gym days around Halloween were unforgettable. The entire gym would be set up as a dark haunted house obstacle course. The class would be divided into two teams. We had to roll in the haunted barrel, climb the ropy spider web, catch the glow in the dark bats, and make it out safely through the orange black dark tunnel as it echoed spooky noises. During December, the gymnasium would be ornamented with evergreen trees and intricate golden lights. Mom and Dad would come to see my recital of holiday rhymes and Christmas carols. The most special recital was “Author’s Night” when I recited the poem that got published in the School Poem Book. A lot of things happened in December. On Christmas Eve, my sisters and I would be waiting impatiently outside our door to watch Santa come on the fire truck and throw our favorite candies. Blizzards would also happen. Crazy ones. Like the time where my sister and I burrowed a hole so deep in the 10 feet snow and could not find each other. December would also be around the time where my Islamic holiday would be held after Ramadan. I had to make sure I hid the orange henna on my hands so my peers would not laugh at me. I wore my white wool mittens in class all morning until Mrs. Weiner whispered I could take them off. When she saw me burst into tears, she took me to the back of the class and held me in her lap begging for me to show her. She gasped and said it was beautiful. She made me share it with the rest of the students. They all admired it so much my Mom came in the next day and put it on all my classmates.
June and Julys. The last day of school would be field day with 3 legged races, popsicles, water balloon fights, and dodgeball followed by an ice-cream social. All the kids would bring their parents and it was so easy to pick out whose parent was whose. After Dad would come home from work, my sister and I would walk with him one on each side with my youngest sister on his head to Village Park. We passed the blackberry trees and picked all the luscious and ripe ones and placed it in our hay basket. Dad would pick us up to make sure we pluck the higher ones. They were always the most succulent. After sliding down the yellow slide and swinging the swings, we would go play a round of vigorous Tennis with Dad.
I sit here now on that same squeaky swing. I returned to Lawrenceville for Labor Day weekend to recollect those childhood keepsakes. To recollect the crisp air, the whipped sweetness of cupcakes, the metal monkey bars, the aroma of Italian spices, the echoing of ballet and piano lessons, the red rusty brick house, Mom’s pink curtains. The town where things always stay the same.

Washing Dishes

2009-08-15T21:26:00.000-07:00

Reflection on Sheikh Husain's lecture: Removing the Stains of the Heart

Like many of Sheikh Husain's talks, this lecture hit me hard. It might have been because his talk began with washing dishes and me being a fanatic about cleaning..I don't know. But anyway, the point was clearly made. The best time to wash dishes is RIGHT AFTER you are done using them. Because otherwise, if you wait until the day after, residue is left on the dishes and it becomes harder to clean. In the same way, when sins are made on our part, right away we should be doing istagfar and tauba to Allah. We need to make it a constant habit. Because the more residue we want to carry, it all becomes excess baggage. And soon enough, our desire to rectify our mistakes diminishes. Then there are times where perhaps some pots and pans or shirts are just impossible to clean. They require a lot of effort and perhaps cannot even be done. Similarly, Muslims also have sins, HUGE sins that cannot be washed away unless in rare occasions...like Ramadan and Hajj. Unlike past Ramadans, I have started preparing early. Meaning making use of time by starting off the day with Quran. Doing dhikr throughout the day and staying away from worldly distractions.Allah gives us this month to rectify all of our sins. He acts like a selective cleaner who not only washes away our bad sins but also keeps our past deeds. When compared to a class that you failed, even if you made an A on the first exam, and the failed the last two, your teacher WILL make you take the ENTIRE class over. You do not get to keep the good points. However, it is only due to Allah's mercy we are given these golden opportunities. So why not start now? May Allah make us all steadfast in good deeds so that His remembrance may act as constant cleaners for us to help us in this life and the hereafter. Ameen.

A Box of Thoughts...

2009-06-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

Gee. I haven't written in a while. I just felt the need to write. It might be one of those posts full of babble and thoughts which I might end up deleting later. But it feels good now. So far summer has been just wonderful. Alhamdulillah. Really no complaints. Not one day has gone by where I didn't come outside to witness the sunset. Or take time to clean the kitchen. Or go downstairs before bed and have a chat with grandma. I began thinking what's really important in this dunya and how much it matters how you spend your day. At times I got feeling of emptiness. Where I didn't accomplish anything. There were other days where I'd go shopping. But still the same emptiness. Until I didn't seek knowledge, that emptiness would not be fulfilled. If I did dhikr, I felt better. Or if I read Quran, it felt better. It brings me back to the school days where at times I dreaded studying with a passion. But gosh until your attitude becomes better, nothing will. Sitting on the couch all day makes you accomplish nothing. And though at the moment it feels great, but at sunset, it leaves you with a feeling of regret and a waste of a day. So I plan to really make use of each minute with productivity inshaAllah. Its my time. My life. My deen.

"Truly in the heart there is a void that can not be removed except with the company of Allah. And in it there is a sadness that can not be removed except with the happiness of knowing Allah and being true to Him. And in it thereis an emptiness that can not be filled except with love for Him and by turning to Him and always remembering Him And if a person were given all of the world and what is in it, it would not fill this emptiness."

Until next time.

A New Year :)

2009-01-19T21:52:00.000-08:00

So I have been meaning to write for a while. But for some reason, when I did get the chance, I did not know how organize my thoughts and felt better leaving it in my mind. Now, I just felt the need to write. No matter how thorough it is. I just want to write. Here we go.

So it's another new year, new thoughts, a new change.
I've made a list of New Year Resolutions and plan to look back on this in December to see how well I accomplished them.
1) excercise for 30-40 min everyday-no matter how skinny I am. Just to keep me healthy
2) Use every minute towards productivity. DONT BE LAZY.
3) Stay updated on the news!
4) Learn/apply a new hadith every day
5) Develop sincerity
6) EAT HEALTHY

---------------------------
Here is where I'd like to transition the post... to the value of time. Last semester flew by and personally, I don't think I worked as much as I wanted to. I wanted to devote 110 % of school but unfortunately I took things very light.

It made me link classes to Islam. You are given a course,where material is taught, you are also given resources to help enhance the knowledge, and all those tests accurately measure your sincerity/knowledge behind the course. And INDEED, THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU SPEND IN THE COURSE, IS THE GRADE YOU TRULY DESERVE.

Similarily, Islam is the course. The material is taught by so many. Scholars, parents, and of course most importantly the Prophet (PBUH). In addition, there are resources to help us become more familiar with Islam and offer us avenues of how to follow it such as hadith and the Quran and sunnah. We are given numerous tests in this dunya whether we know it or not but we only get one chance to make it or break it. The FINAL EXAM will come on the Day of Judgement where each deed/sin will we be accountable for. And truly we will get the grade we deserve. Jannah or Jahanam.

It seriously hit me when I got my grade in Organic Chem. I was horrified. Yet unconventionally not upset. Because I earned that grade. I coulda done better if I really had sincerity. And it all made sense from there. How amazing the connection is to our deen...so easy for many of us to fail but yet again it can be SO SIMPLE for us to strive if we just build sincerity in our hearts for the sake of Allah. And truly the reward is to those who REALLY DESERVE IT.

I plan on spending my time more wisely this semester so that I can get the grades I deserve and BE HAPPY OF THEM. May Allah give me the strength to stay focused and steadfast and to give me pure hidaya to spend my valuable time in productivity alone. Ameen.

“If Allah were to punish people according to what they deserve, He would not leave on the back of the (earth) a single living creature: but He gives them respite for a stated Term: when their Term expires, verily Allah has in His sight all His servants." (Fatir:45)

Corner

2008-09-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

Fear of no tomorrow

Strength in his soul yet a shatter in his veins,

Is how he lives by

Hunger speaks through his defined ribs

As missiles chase their next victims

Rubble whelms between alleys of ash

Hope glistens in his violet eyes

His corner encases him from cries

Under a cardboard tent

A curled ball with a hole in his sleeve

Nibbling moldy bread

“I’ll see you tonight,” I reassure,

And flee for my own refuge.

When alleys return to stillness

I reunite with my little boy

To imbibe pages of gold,

Unable to hold—far near the horizon

Yet those violet jewels still sparkle strength

As we huddle and read beneath the array of stars

Cushioned under the faint frosty lamps

Praying for the silence to prolong

Through the crack of dawn.

Ramadan, A Month of Blessing

2008-09-02T22:41:00.000-07:00

I dedicate this post to a message I received on facebook. And one small message contained of such powerful words. It was beautiful. Beautiful enough to change daily habits, write new ambitions, and live life with a new perspective. Ramadan could not have come at a better time. This Ramadan, seemed to strike us all from no where, coming at the right time, when we need it most. Why is so simple to become so God-conscious during this month and not others? From self control, to controlling your tongue, to waking up to fajr. Everything. It all seems so easy..during this month.

An individual wrote,“Before falling into a sinful act I try my best to avoid it by using my determination and supplicating to Allah for help. However, if God-forbid, the sin is committed I have this disheartening feeling that all the effort done to avoid the sin was wasted.”

Many times we may find ourselves on this very same page throughout the year. We notice one of our weakness. We try to distract ourselves from our weak nafs and aim it towards healthy actions that help us improve iman. BUT why. last minute everything changes. We submit to shaitan and the sin was committed. After all that effort...it really is a dissapointing feeling.

Shaykh Mufti Muhammad Taqi Usmani (may Allah preserve him) replied,“Supplications are never wasted. The feeling of remorse and repentance being felt after the mistake is its effect. No one knows what reward this feeling of guilt and penitence may bring.Therefore, neither be disheartened nor abandon the effort and supplication.

Okay good. So we aren't at total disadvantage here. Let's consider that this sense of remorse after a sin is a way to renew our consiousness. It lets us talk to ourselves and ask us "Why did we do it? Why was it so hard to let it go?" InshaAllah with thinking like that, we can remind ourselves that next time our nafs gets weak, the after taste of the sin is terrible.

I think of an analogy to desribe this situation.

1) Washing clothes

When a clothing is soiled we wash it. However, if it is again soiled, even after extreme care not to do so, will we abandon the cleaning thinking that this is a wasteful activity?”

Obviously not. Our heart is made this way to fluctuate iman from time to time, but this fluctuating to be to such an extent, that we contrinuously grow from every downfall. We should be more cautious about our clothes from time to time by watching what food we eat ( actions), environment ( our influence) , so that in the long run, we have fewer stains.

No other better time than Ramadan to become steadfast in our weaknesses and consider this month a rigourous training of mercy. Make use of this month, because in this month it is so simple to do good deeds, so simple to defeat our nafs, to simple to defeat our bad habits.

May Allah give us the tawfiq to become among those who sacrfice for the sake of Him alone and to use the time He has given us to prosper. Ameen.

Goals for Ramadan:

1) Rid of bad habits

2) God-consciousness to a whole new level

3) Self-control form not only food but for my eyes, tongue, intentions, smell, and my ears.

The path to Allah is not traveressed through a servant's strength, it's through the recognition of the servant's weaknesses that the person actually advances.

-Sheema

Life's Little Pleasures

2008-08-20T23:44:00.000-07:00

Have a firm handshake.Look people in the eye.Sing in the shower.If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.Keep secrets.Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.Always accept an outstretched hand.Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.Avoid sarcastic remarks.Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.When playing games with children, let them win.Give people a second chance, but not a third.Be romantic.Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for your convenience, not the caller's.Be a good loser.Be a good winner.Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.Keep it simple.Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No RegretsBe bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the one's you did.Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else ! ! choose it for you.Begin each day with some of your favorite music.Once in a while, take the scenic route.Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.Keep a note pad and pencil on your bedside table. Million-dollar ideas dont stay in mind for long.Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.Become someone's hero.Always be the first one to help a lady. Once you get through her smile can be one of your greatest rewards.Marry only for love.Count your blessings but blessings should not be children.Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.Wave at the children on a school bus.Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.Remember people.Show off just in front of the mirror that can inspire you to change from worse to good because a mirror never tells a lie.Never say "good bye" if you are optimistic, you can "say see you soon".Love a smart woman not just a pretty face.Always respect a woman.Be a genuine & true, you will never repent for anything.Don't expect life to be fair.

See you next time